The new CBA by Tigercub

So, DeMar DeRozan signed his name under his first NBA contract and we have our Pizza-man in T-Dot, also. We knew that already, but how we got Hedo is another thing. Bryan Colangelo with help of other executives created rather complicated deal. Like 'I didn't sleep 5 nights in a row, to figure it out' complicated deal. It includes 4 teams and basically looks like that:

Raptors get Hedo Turkoglu, Antoine Wright, Devean George and bunch of salary cap exceptions.

Mavericks get Kris Humphries, Shawn Marion and Nathan Jawai.

Grizzlies get our second round pick, dollars and Jerry Stackhouse.

Magic get dollars and trade exception.

Why make it so complicated, when BC could have offered Hedo a contract, saving himself some sleepless nights? I'll give you the clue: it's not because we wanted Wright and George so hard. The answer lies in the magical word 'exception'. Yeah, this is what we were losing by just signing Hedo Turkoglu. But the CBA is obviously written by somebody who loves the word 'loopholes'. Before you understand it, the new CBA comes and it starts allover again. We're waiting for another ankle breaking set of rules in 2011. Why not make it simple and honor the players of 2000's in the same time, by this understandable and straight-forward set of exceptions:

The Anderson Varejao exception. Salary: the yearly income of an average wig producer.

The Eddy Curry exception. Salary: the yearly income of your local McDonalds restaurant.

The Allen Iverson exception. Salary: yearly number of sold benches.

The Ron Artest exception. Salary: the number of sold out rap albums by a player in discussion.

The Kevin Garnet exception. Salary: yearly income of an ear-plug store.

The Glen Davis exception. Salary: number of yearly sold Pampers packs.

The Baron Davis exception. Salary: money made by the movie '300' in the first month.

The LeBron James exception. Salary: yearly income of a local video store.

The Nuggets exception. Salary: the average price of tattooing a whole basketball team (coaches, trainers, execs included).

The list can go on and on. It doesn't use the complicated language of lawyers. But it still lets you spend more than you're allowed. Like when you're a girl using your husbands Master Card.

It's nice to cash your check...

... especially in these hard times for the economy.

As we all expected, the salary cap fell down, luckily only about 2 mln, but is expected to get a full hit for next season. Yeah, THAT season, when the Free Agent Bonanza of 2010 hits the market.

First news, we hear after that is our GM offering the extension to Andrea Bargnani, worth roughly 50 mln for 5 years. Yes, 50 mln, Andrea, good job, you can close your mouth now.


This is definitely a bold move and yet another cocky reassurance, that Raptors mean their business. It brings a sense of security over our frontcourt, securing the Center and Small Forward position for next 5 years. And if the economy was thriving, nobody would question any of these contracts. In reality we're wondering if it's not too much money.

So, the ball is on your court, Andrea, and all our eyes are on you. Are you gonna be our doom? Or you will become such a superstar that you'll have Man In Black following you around, deleting the memories of you being dunked on and stealing the video footage?

The interesting fact, I noticed previous season, our Magician seemed to play better, while unshaven. Hope he won't celebrate his contract extension by buying new razors.


Other news:

Ron-Ron becomes an official entertainer for Lakers' fans. The contract is signed, sealed and put into fire-proof safe-box. Shannon Brown also stays in LA.

Birdman will be still in Denver, the place, where his tattoos are the most appreciated.

San Antonio Spurs are flirting with Antonio McDyess. Seems that Big Baby Davis is still the wallflower. Don't worry, your time will come, Cinderella.

Free Agency Day 2 - Disappointed Raptors Fan

Yeah, I feel really disappointed. It feels like all the teams are trying to do something and we're just sitting and waiting for something magic to happen.

Trevor Ariza agreed to sign with Huston Rockets a multiyear MLE deal, which made about everybody in Toronto asking: WHY? Why didn't Bryan Colangelo try to sign him? NBA.com tells us, that Raptors actually offered bigger dollars to Ariza, but he signed with the Rockets 'out of respect'. (???)

Ron Artest reached the agreement with Lakers. Now, he will be able to manhandle Kobe on trainings.

Boston Celtics trying to make a run for Rasheed Wallace. Mavericks and Knicks speaking with Jason Kidd. Marcin Gortat is on his way to Dallas.

So, where are you, Raptors? Are you gonna try to resign Shawn Marion? Add Linas Kleiza? Is that all we can expect?

NBA Free Agency for Dummies

Here's the list of some NBA free agents 2009, described in short Twitter-like fashion and non-scientific language. The order is random.

Marcin Gortat - Polish Hammer, he can block the King in the name of Polish Democracy.

Glen Davis - known for crying, and killing little boys after shooting a winning shot.

Anderson Varejao - man, he flops.

Chris Andersen - his blocks are as colorful as his tats.

Linas Kleiza - having him won't hurt you when Melo is hurt.

Wally Szczerbiak - his abilities of playing ball are only a little better than your abilities to spell his name.

Eddie House - he'll defend you so much that you'll want to slap him.

Nate Robinson - don't be cheated by his size, he can dunk.

David Lee - Mr Double-Double, he makes sure to follow every shot he misses.

Grant Hill - aging like a good wine, still capable of giving you a kick on some nights.

Mike Bibby - his 3pointer looks way better than his tats.

Trevor Ariza - Mr Hustle, he follows every loose ball and steals inbound passes.

Allen Iverson - best crossover in the league, but is he the answer?

Shawn Marion - as ugly as his shot looks, it usually goes in.

Jason Kidd - triple-double for me please.

Hedo Turkoglu - he can both dribble and shoot really well.

Rasheed Wallace - big mouth and big shot.

Ron Artest - fantastic defender and entertainer, he's been in the stands before.

Lamar Odom - good force on the team providing he gets his candies.

Ben Gordon - you will love and hate him multiple times on each possession.

Carlos Boozer - power forward with a power.