The offseason blows

The off-season blows big time and it's rather difficult to open Twitter, when there is nothing even remotely connected to the basketball in the trending topics. It must be even more difficult for players like Big Baby Davis, Andre Miller and David Lee, who are looking at their phones and waiting for any call.

Celtics load their team like there was no tomorrow. Their new target is Marquis Daniels, who will come in a Sign & Trade with Scalabrine or take the biannual exception. Trail Blazers don't have that much luck. Although, they have money to spend, they continue to fail to sign any player at all. After Hedo Turkoglu made his decision in favor of snowy Toronto winters, the Blazers signed Paul Millsap for an offer sheet, only to be kicked in the nuts again, this time by Utah Jazz, who decided to match the offer.

Mark Cuban's lawsuit have been dismissed, Antoine Walker didn't have luck with gambling and Richard Jefferson left his bride at the altar. That's the kind of news we are being fed lately. It's dry bread and water for those of us, who are hungry for any NBA news. I would prefer rainbow trout and Chianti, but that will have to do, unfortunately.

Dwyane Wade jumped out on Twitter lately with a promise of some news. Of course news were crappy, he changed Converse for Nike, which doesn't make any difference, if you're not interested in yet another puppet commercial. He didn't say anything about Lamar Odom, although the rumors make us believe, that Wade is trying to convince the Heat team and Odom to remarry again.

Yao Ming bought himself a team, and it might be the only basketball related activity, that will be left for him. He just cannot catch a break with his injuries, which is such a pity, for he is one of the best centers in the game and has a heart of a warrior.

Josh Childress is going back to Greece, and there is a remote possibility that he will take Nate Robinson with him.

Magic spoiled Marcin Gortat's hopes to be a starting center for the Mavericks. Marcin wasn't happy at all, especially when the Magic signed also Brandon Bass, pushing the Polish Hammer even further on the bench.

The OK City Thunder waived guard Earl Watson, who might be joining the Pacers, hence giving us the hope, that Jarrett Jack will wear Raptors uniform next season. There is no logical reason for Pacers to pay 20 mln just to get another point guard. They have time till Tuesday to make their decision. Hope we won't get the treatment Blazers are getting. Although we have Douby to backup both guard position and he had a major impact in the Summer League games, I still don't feel him as a first guard from the bench. He hogs the ball way to much, and while it may work in the Summer League games, where all the players try to steal the show, it won't be working in the team concept. Roko didn't improve and Marcus Banks... You just hope that he can somehow disappear and take his contract with him. There is no reason for him to be in the NBA.

NBA Free Agency for Dummies

Here's the list of some NBA free agents 2009, described in short Twitter-like fashion and non-scientific language. The order is random.

Marcin Gortat - Polish Hammer, he can block the King in the name of Polish Democracy.

Glen Davis - known for crying, and killing little boys after shooting a winning shot.

Anderson Varejao - man, he flops.

Chris Andersen - his blocks are as colorful as his tats.

Linas Kleiza - having him won't hurt you when Melo is hurt.

Wally Szczerbiak - his abilities of playing ball are only a little better than your abilities to spell his name.

Eddie House - he'll defend you so much that you'll want to slap him.

Nate Robinson - don't be cheated by his size, he can dunk.

David Lee - Mr Double-Double, he makes sure to follow every shot he misses.

Grant Hill - aging like a good wine, still capable of giving you a kick on some nights.

Mike Bibby - his 3pointer looks way better than his tats.

Trevor Ariza - Mr Hustle, he follows every loose ball and steals inbound passes.

Allen Iverson - best crossover in the league, but is he the answer?

Shawn Marion - as ugly as his shot looks, it usually goes in.

Jason Kidd - triple-double for me please.

Hedo Turkoglu - he can both dribble and shoot really well.

Rasheed Wallace - big mouth and big shot.

Ron Artest - fantastic defender and entertainer, he's been in the stands before.

Lamar Odom - good force on the team providing he gets his candies.

Ben Gordon - you will love and hate him multiple times on each possession.

Carlos Boozer - power forward with a power.