Wednesday, June 17, 2009

NBA Free Agency for Dummies

Here's the list of some NBA free agents 2009, described in short Twitter-like fashion and non-scientific language. The order is random.

Marcin Gortat - Polish Hammer, he can block the King in the name of Polish Democracy.

Glen Davis - known for crying, and killing little boys after shooting a winning shot.

Anderson Varejao - man, he flops.

Chris Andersen - his blocks are as colorful as his tats.

Linas Kleiza - having him won't hurt you when Melo is hurt.

Wally Szczerbiak - his abilities of playing ball are only a little better than your abilities to spell his name.

Eddie House - he'll defend you so much that you'll want to slap him.

Nate Robinson - don't be cheated by his size, he can dunk.

David Lee - Mr Double-Double, he makes sure to follow every shot he misses.

Grant Hill - aging like a good wine, still capable of giving you a kick on some nights.

Mike Bibby - his 3pointer looks way better than his tats.

Trevor Ariza - Mr Hustle, he follows every loose ball and steals inbound passes.

Allen Iverson - best crossover in the league, but is he the answer?

Shawn Marion - as ugly as his shot looks, it usually goes in.

Jason Kidd - triple-double for me please.

Hedo Turkoglu - he can both dribble and shoot really well.

Rasheed Wallace - big mouth and big shot.

Ron Artest - fantastic defender and entertainer, he's been in the stands before.

Lamar Odom - good force on the team providing he gets his candies.

Ben Gordon - you will love and hate him multiple times on each possession.

Carlos Boozer - power forward with a power.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Doc Funk said...

Good list. Allow me to append:

Stephon Marbury - more quixotic than his dome tats indicate.
Robert Swift - Chris Andersen without the talent or skill.
Tyronn Lue - Rocks a mean suit.
Drew Gooden - There is nothing significant about Drew Gooden.

June 17, 2009 12:38 PM  
Blogger Chaun said...

Yay, something I can understand! lol I'm linking this on Twitter for the Dummies who missed it!

June 17, 2009 4:10 PM  

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