About a Ben Gordon diet

I am a cheater. The worst kind of a cheater actually, because the person I cheat on is me. I cheat on my diet - I eat carrots and celery all day just to finish the day with pizza and beer. I cheat with quitting smoking - 'Just one cig cause I'm so stressed out'. I cheat with the alarm clock - 'Just another 10 minutes and I'll get up'. I cheat with my exercises, I always feel 'so tired' when the time comes to head to the gym or do at least a handful of push-ups.
So when the playoffs started I decided - now or never. Bye-bye cigarettes! Bye-bye lasagna! There were 2 things I didn't foresee: 1. You put on weight when you quit smoking. 2. The intensity of Bull-Celtics series. So every evening when I knew the clash of these 2 teams was scheduled I would shiver thinking about how hard will it go without cigarettes, alcohol and unhealthy snacks. So I armed myself in the multiple boxes of tic-tacks - to grab one when I feel like smoking and toughness attitude to not grab a beer / mars bar when I feel like smoking! The plan partially worked. The cigarettes withdrawal seemed rather mild during this series. Worse with beer. When I jumped n-th time after Ben Gordon's possession I realized that I could go grab myself a beer as I'm already on my feet.
When the series ended I decided - or my guilt decided to hit the gym. My instructor who has this nice attitude of telling women the truth looked at me and said: 'We have to weigh you'. BAD NEWS, I thought. Well, all the weight (and the instructor) had to say, was: 'I knew it. You lost 8 pounds.'
What could I say? Ben Gordon, I thank thee for the best diet I ever had!